Comments on: Saving a Christian Marriage from Divorce: Ten things you should know

By: JMP

JMP — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 18:33:19 +0000

Blessed Virgin, Queen of the Holy Rosary, please intercede on my behalf and ask your Son to convert my wife, change her heart to love me and reconcile our marriage. I promise to consecrate myself, my spouse and my children to your Immaculate Heart.

By: tscott07

tscott07 — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 22:08:41 +0000

Hi Katlynn,
My heart goes out to you and your family facing this most difficult situation. I have been praying for you and I ask our members to do the same. A couple of thoughts came to mind when I read your post.

1. Have you consulted your pastor, or church elders?
2. You can not stop him from leaving, but you must continue to honor God. Remember judgement belongs to Him.
3. Think about your testimony to the children. They are watching and you must be an example of a Godly woman.
4. Learn to set limits, no man will respect a woman that they can walk over.
5. Stay in Christian counseling to learn how to handle this situation. You will need both professional and spiritual guidance.
6. Find at least 5 Godly women who can support you and help you maintain a Godly perspective.
7. Get a copy of Dr. James Dobson’s book “Love Must Be Tough” it is an excellent read for this issue.
8. Stay close to God. You really need to hear from Him.
9. Listen to our broadcast “Ask the Doctors” we address this and other issues. Visit us at http://www.healthylivingseminars.org
10. Your husband is in need of much prayer, because he is in position for God’s judgement!

Read Mal. 2:16; Matt 5:32; 19:9; 1 Cor. 7:12-16; Gen. 1:27; 2:24

Remember to keep your self dignity, integrity and self-respect as you address this issue. Seek God in doing the right thing. He will guide you. Last, there is something much worse than living with a mate in disharmony. It’s living with God in disobedience.

Keep us informed!

In Him,
Dr. Tracy Scott

By: Katlynn

Katlynn — Sun, 24 May 2009 10:19:41 +0000

My husband and I have been married for 24 years, we have 2 children both in college, and he has left the home and is currently having an affair with a married woman (who has three small children) for the past 6 months. We are both Christians. I have tried counseling (alone), relationship counseling, seeking intercession from Christian friends and pastors, constant kindness towards him, and consistent prayer. There has been no change in his heart or his mind about divorce. I do not know what to do (I do not believe divorce is God’s will) any longer or where to turn. I have been a stay home homeschooling mom for 24 years, he holds all the reins on everything. Is there truly no hope left or nowhere left to turn?

By: tscott07

tscott07 — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 19:45:30 +0000

Hi Cheryl,

First let me say thank you for reaching out. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help, and you have taken the first step for healing.

You have a very difficult situation, but not impossible. I read that you have gone to counseling, but only for one month. If your husband does not want to go back, then you go and learn through counseling how to deal with this situation. Sometimes, when one spouse goes for help, the other follows; if for nothing more than curiosity, but it can help.

Also, surround yourself with godly women from your local church; there is great wisdom in seeking support from women that are wise in counsel. Start with your church and then reach out to other churches in your area. Most pastors have a keen sense of knowing who to recommend to you.

You can also check out our website at http://www.healthylivingseminars.org go to the self-help page and look at the resources.

Last, I have asked our listeners to pray for you and your husband. We need God’s hand to touch your husband. Your husband is angry about something and is not sure as to how to deal with it. If he has a relationship with the pastor, ask the pastor to intervene.

Please keep us posted.

In Him,
Dr. Tracy Scott

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 20:21:23 +0000

My husband and I have been married for the past 5 years. He has shared with me that me and my family make him miserable and he wants to end our marriage. A year ago, we went to counseling for about one month. Although it was quite helpful, he doesn’t want to go back. We didnt return after our vacation. I have asked him to give us 6 months to seek help and to work really hard and see where we are after 6 months. He has such a negative attitude and doesn’t want to do it. This was all brought about by a car crash that ended in a death in my family. I have lost several members of my family since we have been married (all older). He now says that he doesn’t want to be by myside when my family dies because of the lifestyle they are choosing – drinking and smoking. He has really said some hurtful things. I don’t know what to do. I do love him and want my marriage to work.

By: Dr. Tracy Scott

Dr. Tracy Scott — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 21:41:07 +0000

Hi,

Thanks for posting your question.

First let me say that my heart goes out to you and your family. Marital stress is never easy and can be down right debilitating. The bible is clear that the New Testament appears to allow two reasons for divorce: adultery (Matt. 5:32; 19:9) and desertion of a Christian by an unbelieving spouse (1 Cor. 7:12-16). There could possibly be other valid circumstances not addressed in Scripture, such as persistent physical or emotional abuse. Marriage is a very important relationship and marriage partners should do everything possible to prevent divorce.

I encourage you to seek professional Christian counseling for your marriage and if it’s not possible for both of you to attend, then you start the process and seek help. Please go to our resource page under the Self Help Page of our website (www.healthylivingseminars.org) there you will find a list of resources. You should also speak with your pastor about the situation and seek spiritual guidance.

We pray for you and your family. Please keep us informed. God bless you and thanks for posting. Others also benefit from your requests and comments.

Peace

Tracy Scott, Psy. D.
Founder/President
http://www.healthylivingseminars.org

By: Raul

Raul — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 19:50:58 +0000

My wife and I have been married almost two years. We currently live in separate states, she lives in WV and I live in FL. I have a son in high school and I do not want to move to WV, until he has completed high school in FL. In addition, his birth mother from my first marriage is still alive, and it would not be right to pull him away from her. During our my engagement my second wife commmited to moving to FL during the time my son is in high school with the long term plan for both of us to move back to WV after my son graduates from high school. We have had several delays in completing her move to FL due to job issues, and her mother having surgeries. The medical issues for her mother have been resolved as well as the job issues. Unfortunately, my wife no longer wants to move down because she feels she will miss her family. In addition, she feels the move will be traumatic for her cats and fears one of them will run away. She would like to maintain a long distance marriage for the four years that my son is in high school, and then I will join her in WV. We have tried living apart and visiting each other twice a month, but this is a life style I cannot endure given the loneliness. Do I have grounds for a divorce? I have told her that I cannot live apart like this, but she refuses to change her mind.

By: Ted

Ted — Fri, 02 May 2008 01:05:47 +0000

I need a personal relationship with Jesus again. More than anything else on this earth. Was about to write a pitypot message about about my wife leaving 5 months ago with my 16 year old son. But I walked away from my personal relationship with CHRIST first, giving myself over to my own lust. Thia is well written advice to avert divorce but it would always require both parties to honestly commit. I am sure christians who come submit themselves to principles you outline would have successfull happy marriages. First though, each have a personal relationship with Jesus.
I would see more on marriage and hopefully miraculous intervention and restoration before one timeframe expires where in my wife can end the marriage uncontested. Hope to hear from you.

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 01:35:16 +0000

I am much better than I have been in a long time due to prayer partners. However I am going for tests for some medical problems severe stomach issues. I also need to get my finances in order, and rid my life of debt and be MUCH MORE careful before I spend. I am a lot stronger in God’s will but have a few issues I need to rid my life of forever..Thankyou, and God Bless Cheryl
I enjoyed your website