Thanks for reading and posting your comment. You know marriage is a tough, tuff, process, with a lot of ups and downs. No one really gets it right and there is enough blame to be shared by all.

In the midst of the storm (marriage) there is God’s grace and mercy, balance with the consequences of sin. We too must strive for that balance.

Yes, Jesus is the answer and I am happy that you found rest, but remember the Christian life, must still be lived despite all of the adversities with God’s love (Matthew 12:7).

Thanks again for reading and posting.

Dr. Scott
http://www.healthylivingseminars.org

I used to be like her and when I stopped working and concentrated on my relationship with Jesus Christ I am getting better with dealing with my emotions.

Your wife has emotions that she doesn’t know how to deal with. She need Jesus help and your help not your criticism.

God Bless You

I used to be like her and when I stopped working and concentrated on my relationship with Jesus Christ I am getting better with dealing with my emotions.

Your wife has emotions that she doesn’t know how to deal with. She need Jesus help and your help not your criticism.

God Bless You

Thank you very much for your response. It is really a blessing to know that other members of God’s family is praying for us. I will seek more diligently the wisdom from God and ask His providence so that I can be REALLY obedient to his words and be the kind of husband that He desires — Love and respect my wife and pray for her. I believe that God will heal our marriage and make it the way it should be. He kept us together for 18 years (a long time learning process about ourselves) and I trust He want us to be closer to Him through this struggle.

I appreciate your prayers and trust God will hear and answer them.

Thank you and God bless.

Justin

First of all let me say that my heart goes out to your marriage and needless to say, your marriage is in trouble!

From your comments you both are very angry and seemingly bitter. This anger and bitterness may have little to do with your marriage, but tied to deep developmental roots. The marriage may just be the place that it is now manifesting. Both you and your wife should seek professional counseling (marriage) and also counseling with your pastor.

If for some reason, your wife will no go, then you should go without her, so that you can learn to live in a difficult situation. I do not believe that you have biblical grounds for a divorce and with help, this marriage may be saved!

After 18 years, there must have been some good times. Don’t loose those memories. Take the history (good or bad) and seek help. You can visit our web page at http://www.healthylivingseminars.org once there go the the self-help page and click on the self-help resources. There are many options to choose from and I am confident that your marriage can be helped. First, seek out your pastor and then combine to resources provided. Let me know how God blessed your marriage and we will keep you in our prayers.

Dr. Scott

I am thankful that you posted this message. I was searching for answers online after a nasty encounter with my wife. I felt like hell because I failed again.

I call myself a Christian but I am ashamed and angered because I cannot even to live a life that God wants — loving and harmonic. Instead our life has been full of bursts of arguments and hurtful exchanges. I don’t know what to do but one thing is for sure I don’t want to continue live a life like this anymore — nor does my wife as she clearly stated. I know I should love her no matter what — as Christ has commanded. But sometimes it is so hard that I become frustrated and angry with her instead. My wife and I came from very different backgrounds — I am from a doting and loving family and she from a loveless family. My loving family does not seem to make me a very loving person but does make a person that sees the world and others in mostly positive ways. But my wife cannot let go of her past hurts – mostly toward her parents — it was nearly twenty years ago. Matter of fact, she seems to remember every single wrongs she deems others have done in her life. She accumulates so much of this trash that she looks at the world and other people in a very negative way and is hard to please. She is very critical and judgmental towards people and events alike. For instance, when I am telling her about something or some people she can immediately say something negative about them! I am so frustrated with her being bitter and negative about life in general I called just that plus accusing her being arrogant — I guess that does not help the matter very much. I love life and try to live peacefully with all around me. The irony is that I can do that with most others but not with her — her negativity drags me down and angers me so much that I often find it intolerable just to be in the same room with her. I kept asking myself, why can’t she forget about what happened so long ago and get on with life! Why does she has to be so bitter and critical toward other people. Nobody owes her anything! but she seems to think otherwise. She blames the people from our previous church for not helping her enough and thus hold a strong animosity towards them. I am alarmed by her being like this! How come we experience the same thing and meet the same people and I feel all OK while she feels that they are just lousy? I don’t know how to deal with this anymore because I tried and things do not seem to improve and we do not seem to go anywhere. Our life seems to be going circles — three days of peace and quite and then an eruption. It really feels like an vicious cycle and adds stress and harm in our relations. I feel like an idiot when the argument happens because I (we) did it again. We both claim to be intelligent person: God has bestowed on us gifts in a sound mind that we both hold advanced degrees in wither business or science. We should not be deems as stupid in the worldly eyes but we are — we cannot even learn from our mistakes in our marriage after more than 18 years. What a joke and the joke is on me. Now I sound bitter and disillusioned and I feel almost cynical. And while I am writing this I feel this bitter juicy swelling inside me. God help me.

As Christians I know we should not get a divorce but I don’t wish to live a life like this any longer either. Your message about a Christ centered marriage states all the right things but how will it work? If my wife stays being bitter and unhappy and I intolerant of these? It takes both, I believe to make a marriage work. No matter how hard I try I will not come to anything if she refuses to change?

Dr. Tracy Scott, what can be done in my case?